i wish i didn't know your past lover
i wish i didn't know it so well
cause my heart drenches every time i recognize you're being with him
sharing perhaps the same thing we've shared

i don't want to know how you look him in the eyes
cause i don't want my self to be disappointed if i'm knowing you're looking right at him, the same you're looking right at me

and i wish you didn't make a promise, that eventually we both know you'll break
the promise you made for him to never see me again
to never call me again, never give me a phone call just to say good night
never give me a chance to just say i love you

so many things i wish not to be happened
like i wish the moment we met, you're not seeing someone else
i don't know is it too late for a start
or is it too ruined to ever be started

i could only startle for reminiscence truths
sometimes i just want to be an idiot
forgetting all the things i know
opening an all new clean slate

so this very heart could only belong to you without any past haunts
because it hurts much
very very much
to know it's been broken
and never feel the same again towards its owner

i swear i don't want to care as long as i can just be with you..
but thinking that you're in love with another, it splits my heart into pieces..
and for moments of truth, it ain't capable of feeling anything, numbing, then corrupts me into someone i have no control of..
i'm sorry for my cowardliness, i don't want to take blame of making you cry, breaking your heart by my personal intended mistake is the last thing i want to do in this world..
there's nothing to be forced anymore..
i believe liberty leads to utmost happiness..
egocentric if i reveal you the truth that i just want you to be happy only if with me..
but love puts trick on me to be selfless, what's matter the most is you being happy, and nothing else means a thing for me..

i hate that i'm not enough
it's like what i've assumed before
one sided love
and you never, not even once, put your very heart on mine

i could only hope one day you'll change your mind
and tell me that i'm just enough
because every passing day that i've ran with you
i always try to be perfect for you
but somehow i feel i'm still not good enough
apparently it's true, the thing i'm frightened so much

but above all of those things
the only thing i really can't afford to lose is just one
it's not what i want, not what i hope, not even my conscience or nothing else
it's you i'm afraid losing of
i know sometimes it's not enough
but they say people learn
and i know you can't make me a priority though you want to
i just need to accept reality
stop living in tales
ditching all those hopes and happy ending
and just be with you no matter the circumstances are

I wish I was everything
Knowing you either curse or bless
I'm so tired of this
Giving you up
Or fight till I rest
Cause maybe everything we had means nothing to you
What I am is just another phase
I don't want to live in regret
But I can't live in wait
Maybe our time is over
My chances are gone
Leaving me by crying in darkest place
Everywhere but not near you
I'm just another mistake you made
But thank you to make me realize
There's something bigger than life

Cause you need one, to be complete..
we were born as imperfect
and nothing is perfect in this world
until you find the other half
take you to another different level
a whole new dimension
flawless when everything is falling
but I'm invincible promptly
sharing thoughts and feelings
through eyes and words
and time's suddenly stop

it's just
a perfection

am I left alone in this world
left to wonder and cry
over things that passing me by everyday

see other laughter people have
see other happiness i've never tasted

i just wanna feel a little bit of it
a single droplet of heaven
to make me know what it feels like to be loved
or to be cared about
cause i don't even know what i'm feeling right now
all i could see is darkness
a shade of gloom
maybe this twilight existed only for me
craving for a tiny glimmer
just a bit of it
please wake me up from this nightmare
i don't want to lose my self
don't want to be another lost soul
corrupted spirit
unconscious for eternity
i want to be somebody for at least anybody

I don't want this to be over
I don't want lose you from the picture

cause when they say time helps you to forget
I don't want it to happen

some places may be forgotten
some events may be unremembered

but not a tiny part of yours i want to blank out
no matter it's a truth hurts
or happy thoughts

flower blossoms because of you
sun rises and brighten me above the horizon
little touch of yours makes me shudder

can't you see how much i miss you?
don't u see i'm losing you?
won't u want us to share time together again?

i'm vulnerable without you
though i don't want it to be one sided
if you don't want me then I'm helpless
i could only wish you stay in ecstasy state

whether with me or not
in spite it splits me to half
cause you're the other part
I'm losing, I'm missing
I'm loving

the one I'll never get back