what is the parameter of being stable
being not miserable as what they say
do just stuck with one person could be classified as being wretched?
because i still can't get away with this one very special person

i do really want to get out from this phase
i'm bored of being stuck with this
the same old routine, the same old thing
giving away my heart for the person who perhaps doesn't love me back
i'm done taking my chances, i'm done trying so hard
it doesn't show any progress
i've tried everything i know
even tried things i've never thought it before
but it's not getting any better

the last thing i've had not done is giving it up
is it the right thing to do?
or is it the stupid thing to do?
i don't know

there's no answer for questions like this in books
i've been looking up for it every day and then
and nothing could give me a hint of answers that even close

where should i look then?
i have no clue
i have no experience for things like this
the only thing that could keep me awake every day is just thinking about love
but what if, love is the only thing that hurts me so bad
i'm lacking of passion to sleep, to wake up, to breathe
i'm losing everything
everything is not the same anymore
it doesn't even close with pasts

god i'm so sick and tired
i just want to let go and be normal
be back to who i am belong to
but nobody cares
nobody helps me get through with this
i was left lonely
being alone never got this bad
i used to get use to it
i used to be with that condition and just be fine
but right now it's different
i need that kiss
need that touch
need that tender
i'm missing it
miss it

people shouldn't be dead just because they're losing this
i was checked up as normal when i go to hospital
but why there's something in me that feels like dying
or perhaps it's already dead
it's a riddle to me
i'm tired of figuring out this puzzle
i used to love complicated things
enigma, mystery, quandary, they're all my best friends
i found them challenging
but this one, this one is not
this one, i really don't care whether i'm losing or winning
i just want this to be over
because it kills me
i know it does