This night I saw a star on a cloudy sky
Wondering the existence of it
And I know that the star might have been dead since
But its light just came by to say hi for me now

Is it I have to die first, so then people will know that I were existed?
Or is it I have to do some big step ahead?

Well I just love the twinkle star smiling upon me
And I smile back to its light..

Hello star,
Nice to greet you even before I see your light, I never know you were there..

Dear Sky,
Please say hello from me to the star, if it can't hear me

I'm sorry to realize things after they have already gone first

"Thanks for being so sweet..
For giving me love, for giving me joy..
A little smile of you is brightening my day..
A small amount of your tender is keeping me to live another day.."

"Thanks for the affection,
without you I shall pass anything in this world, because they're meant nothing, unless I'm with you"

"Everything is changing but I don't care, because we're still the same,
your laughter, my response, anything about us"

"Beautiful as you are, the love that lies in my heart for like ever,
I shall thank God too, for gave me a huge bless, which is an existence of yours"

"Even if you're stop loving me, and I damn that because I pray everyday for every single moment of love that we have,
you have to know that i'll still love you..
and it has no requirement..
wish it won't ever expired even it feels like hell..
because time will heal, and the only thing that matter is I am still able to let you be happy..
instead of hating you by not loving me,
because love has its own way,
and I don't want to lose it, surely I don't
It just feels so good in loving you,
and I don't want anything from you,
because I am just grateful for you to taught me what love is like"

"Dear Love, I do love you"


Like I could feel all of the things above
One day.. Maybe one day..

Maybe this is a feeling of lonely that I might never have before
There's a lot of people, surrounding me. But why the only thing that I could feel is nothing?

Is it true that I am desperately need to be taken care of?
Boy Friend, Girl Friend, Best Friend, Just Friend
Anything..

Even I could break a moment of silence, just with thoughts that are never stop running through my head..

How it is really for me, in finding a way to focus on what I shall do, if the only thing that I can think about is preventing my self from its destructive path of life

Because it's true, excluded half of my self, none would care of me..
I don't know what to do, I really am,
I wish someone could pull me, instead of push me away..

I only need one present..
contains a guide of finding out what I really want,
despite the fact I cannot do, because I am stuck in a never ending wonder about what kind of life I might want..

Question,
What is me in 10 years projection from now?

Don't answer it..

The right question is..
What is me in today?

and I'm sorry to my self, to frankly say that I don't know..

Do I truly live in people judgment?
Who am I when I'm not around people?

The person that still tries so hard, to be the one that they expect..
or the person that have courage to show herself who truly she is

wondering the shadow of me,
that keep screaming "let me go, I'm not this"

stressed i am, depressed is my other name
watching day goes by, day after day
constantly never change..

because perhaps, I don't have the courage to deal what's going on with the real me..
Well, I'm still waiting for her to come out..
And tell the world, that she doesn't need em!

Because truly she does not need it, true, if it only cares to her only when she is being who it wants her to be
sorry, cannot fulfill your expectation,
maybe now I'm not the one that you ever know

the unexpected of me
it's just the way I live my life

Ghost You Know Lauren Hoffman

Artist: Lauren Hoffman
Album: Choreography
Year: 2005
Title: Ghost You Know



There's a room in my house where I stumble over a memory
There's a light in the night and I wonder if you've come back for me

Well it's a little too late to say sorry, but don't be so hard on me
Ghost, you know I can't go back

Come like a whisper in silence, a brush on my skin
A shadow that flies by my door, I'm wanting more

Well it's a little too late to say sorry, but don't be so hard on me
Ghost, you know I can't go back
Like a song in my ear you are near me, here like a time machine
Ghost you keep pulling me back

Well if you've been here all the while, watching me drift by and by
Waiting for something to fill me up, ghost close your eyes

I can silence the voice in my head and hear you instead
Whisper and sing for me again, rise from the dead

Well it's a little too late to say sorry, but don't be so hard on me
Ghost, you know I can't go back
Like a song in my ear you are near me, here like a time machine
Ghost you keep pulling me back
Sometimes you lose everything, or gave it away well it's hard to say now


*I'm sad truly sad, realize the ghost of love won't come back to haunt me all day, all night, all time.. I think I'm just missing the way how it feels, even it's sadden me, or even it's hurting me..
miss you love,
even if I cannot have it, but please let me feel it once again*

*maybe one day I could understand, how love truly plays to distract something in me*

Why listen to her?? (marisa lauren)
It's because I watched a tv shows, titled south of nowhere, and they got this song
maybe some of you know what this tv shows is all about..

For whom who don't know.. I'll share..
It's all about the teenage's life, problem, love, stuffs..
And the interesting part is, it's about the orientation of sexuality from the main character..

Where she's confused, she's in a new city, with new people, and new rules..
Where she could morely to open her self up, take her self come out of the stupid little box that maybe was created by the society.. (well i guess it's not maybe, it's more to obviously)
You know, all the religion, values, culture, that prevents you to be who you are..

But who we are, truthfully is just the way that society reflects us..
There's nothing wrong with being who you are,
What do you love, who do you like.. What do you prefer..
It's all more to a matter of choice rite? which comes out from the deepest part of our hearts..

Why we have to be confused, by what these guys want, or what these girls ask for..
Why don't start your life, by asking, what do you want for your self..

Oftenly we forgot, to put ourself in front of other people needs..
We let ourselves drowned in acceptance of other people, who apparently feel comfortable to be around us..
Then we choose, to be the person that they want, that they accept, that they expect.

We forgot..
there's nothing wrong with being the original of us..
And we don't need people's approval to be who we are..

Just move along..
And you'll gain your happiness if you're being the one that you should be since the first place..
You are you

none and nothing could change..
You are special
Have the confident of it, and you'll be fine..